Friday, October 30, 2009

The Top 12 Rules of Management

Conference Room Management:-
I know how to be left wonderfully alone with my thoughts. Just a Post-it on the conference room door which says, 'Step right in for New Biz Brainstorming'

Recession Management:-
Will any boss get rid of an employee who says, " Your hair is excellent and your judgment even better." Think about it!

Stress Management:-
Whenever I feel stressed, I sponsor a 10-day stress management retreat for my boss.

Appraisal Management:-
Whenever my boss asks me, "How do you see yourself five year from now?" I promptly say, "Just as smart as you." What do you think my grades would be like?

Time Management:-
There are people I know who don't even have time to attend Time-Management seminars. Haven't they heard of delegations!

Elevator Management:-

A compliment on my life man's 'purple' shirt or a look of approval for his 'red' shoes is all it takes to get me a spacious ride everyday to my office on the 16th floor.

Parking Management:-

There's a board in my car which reads 'No parking.' I use it to reserve my favorite parking spot whenever I'm not there.

Junior Management:-
"C'mon, this is not rocket science." These words are magical. Every time I say them I get the job before time and almost always right the first time.

Email Management:-
I make my job simple. I end all my mails with a note that say, 'Revert in 10 min or we'll consider the work approved.'

Teamwork Management:-
As a team we believe in giving our 100% to the job. Shalini gives her 25%, Rahul gives his 20%, Vinod gives his 25%, Rajesh gives his 30% and I give them a round of applause.

Boss Management:-
I agree with most of what my boss says.Especially, the brief silent parts between the words.

Meeting Management:-
My New Year resolution is to quit drinking coffee. Actually coffee keeps me awake in those boring presentations where I feel like dozing off.

"Good Looking Rascals Secrets of Success"